Click here for the Web page of Home Improvement Cyberfans. The transcript below is taken from the episode "Bye, Bye, Birdie".
Tim and Jill sit down with 12-year old Brad to help him with his math homework: multiplying compound fractions.
Jill: Here we go, here we go. (Reads textbook) "Multiply the denominator and the whole number, then add the product to the numerator. The sum will be the new numerator. Repeat the process for the second compound fraction, (slowly) then multiply the numerators (pause) and the denominators. Convert the product to a compound fraction."
Tim: Go ahead, Brad.
Brad: (incredulous) Go ahead and what?
Jill: Well, you should go ahead and --- OK, we're gonna help you with this (pause) --- the first one. So, Tim --- you do that.
Tim: (sarcastically) Why not? All right, everybody. Let's --- first problem --- multiply 3 and five-eights times 6 and three-nineteenths. (long pause) What?!?
Jill: It says, it says multiply the denominator, and the denominator is.... what again?
Brad: The bottom number.
Tim and Jill: The bottom number.
Tim: Why didn't they just call it the "bottom number"? The "denominator" sounds like a Schwarzenegger movie, doesn't it? (talking like Arnold)"I'm the Denominator! I'll give your leg a compound fraction!"
Tim and Wilson, conversing in the back yard.
Wilson: I see your son Brad is assiduously poring over his academic tomes.
Tim: He's what?! Oh yeah, he's studying. Hey Wilson, do you know how to multiply compound fractions?
Wilson: Yeah, of course I do. I love mathematics. It's one of the building blocks of thought. Nothing teaches order and discipline better. You know what Galileo Galilei said?
Tim: Yeah, 1601 Florence: "Why do both my names sound the same?"
Wilson No, he said the universe is written in the language of mathematics -- its characters, triangles, circles, other geometric figures. Without mathematics, one wanders about in a dark labyrinth.
Tim: A labyrinth?
Wilson: Let's just say a maze.
Tim: I know I am. I want Brad to be a good student, so I told him that multiplying compound fractions was a real important part of that. But, you know, between you and me, it's kinda useless information.
Wilson: Well, I don't know about that Tim. There was a time when I thought my extensive research into ancient tribal cultures, obscure scientific data, the thoughts of great philosophers, would never come in handy... then you moved in.
Tim and Al, on Tool Time.
Al: Next, we are going to be demonstrating how to lay a new floor... but first, we need to calculate just how much hard wood we are gonna be needing.
Tim: Right! And for that, we'll be using mathematics -- the language of the universe. And that's according to Ernest and Guilio Galileo. I bet you didn't know that, did you Al.
Al: I don't think anyone did, Tim.
Tim: That's right. Our project floor here is about 8 feet by 4 feet. To get the square footage, you have to multiply those two numbers. (starts to strut) And since I walk the mathematical walk and talk the mathematical talk, I know that's 32 square feet.
Al: Actually, Tim, the exact measurements are 8 and one-half by 4 and one-third.
Tim: What are you getting at, Al?
Al: Well, Tim, since you walk the mathematical walk, you need to multiply those two numbers, O Human Abacus.
Tim: (long pause) Well, I'd love to, my stout little friend, but... we're out of time. So, we'll have to round it off to 32.
Al: 36 and four-fifths.
Tim: Whatever, Al.
Actually, the correct answer is 36 and five-sixths. Heh, heh, heh.
johnq@unt.edu
John Quintanilla, Department of Mathematics, University of North Texas